Kristin Williams Photography

I have been sitting here trying to write this post for days.

I have started and stopped 100 times.

I am never at a loss for words, but I have struggled writing THIS post for so many reasons.

I remember the first shoot I did for “real” like it was yesterday.  June 9th, 2006.   It was with my good friends two children.   I put my Rebel XT in automatic mode and at the end of the shoot fell in love with the whole experience and called myself a “photographer”.   I really wasn’t….but in that moment, I knew I had captured memories for a friend and it felt SO right.

It took a few more shoots with a couple very special families for me to finally realize WHY I fell in love with photography so much.

It was about filling the hole in my heart that my my Mom left when she died when I was 5.    I think my entire life I always wished I could have more pictures of my Mom and OUR family when she as alive.   I don’t have those pictures, but it became clear to me that I captured other families memories because these pictures helped replace in the hole in my heart from the pictures of my family I didn’t have.

Everyone who knows me knows that photography was always SO much more than clicking the shutter and printing photographs.   It fulfilled so many aspects of my life that I never imagined it would and it is for this very reason that writing this post is so hard.

Over the last month after hours and hours of thought, not sleeping and the support of my very caring and supportive husband Chris,  I have finally made the decision that at the end of  2010, I will stop shooting as Kristin of “Kristin Williams Photography” and just start shooting only my kids as “CJ and Connor’s Mom”.

Over the past 4 years I have come so far since the days when I put my camera in automatic and just shot away.   My work has grown, I have had 3 cameras, a studio, new computers, tons of more equipment and a LOT of  wonderful memories, laughs and new friendships with some of the greatest clients in the world.

I know so many of you are probably asking why.

First of all, my kids need their Mom back.   Last night at dinner, Chris and I told CJ and Connor about my decision and their response made it clear that this was 100% the right decision for US.   They were more excited about me not being gone on weekends and not being on my computer every night than they were when we told them we were going to Disney.   It really proved to me that kids really don’t need “things” they need US and over the past 4 years I have been so focused at creating my business that I missed out at lost sight of  THEM in more ways than I ever wanted.    I know I can’t get this time back…CJ will be 9 in just a few short months and if the next 9 years are like the first 9 years I will blink and he will be away at college and I will have a lot of time then to do all of the things that mean so much to ME.   Right now, they need their Mom and I honestly can’t WAIT to be there more  for them.

The second reason is hard to explain here, but I have one word that might help….TAXES!   We live in one of the most taxed states in the country and having a second job on top of your full time job isn’t always a good thing tax wise when you add in self-employment tax and the additional income tax.   Over and over again in my photography communities I am reading about other photographers in my exact same shoes as far as taxes go.    Politics aside, it is a very sad state in our country to read over and over again about middle class  families that have decided to STOP working because it actually hurts their family financially more than it helps.     I am sorry, but it just doesn’t make sense!

Finally, I just accepted a bunch of new responsibilities with my full time job while they train me in hope of moving me into a Product Management roll over the next couple of months.  I have a lot to prove/do, but I am so excited because this is a roll I have worked for and wanted for a long time.   I have been with the same company (well, we were  sold 3 times) for the last 10 years and after 10 years, I am finally moving in a direction that I am excited about.   I got the official call on Monday and it has been crazy every since.    I can’t possibly imagine how I could maintain this work load on TOP of the 65 shoots I have done in both 2008 and 2009.

So, this spring I begin my “Farewell Tour” with the 30 families that had already scheduled shoots for 2010.   I am so excited to finish up the last year of my photography business with some of the best families I have worked with in the past.    30 shoots is going to seem like nothing after my last couple of years and I am excited to have the opportunity to work with all of you for one last time. 

Please know that walking away isn’t easy and my only hope is that I provided each one of the families I did shoots for over the past 4 years some memento of just how amazing the love between YOUR family is.    I hope that my pictures are always written in some of the pages of your families story.   I also hope that for generations your pictures I took will help you never forget just how lucky and  blessed we are to be parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

After loosing my Mom, I have always lived each day as my last.   I count my blessings daily.  I tell my friends and family I love them all of the time.   You just never know what tomorrow brings.    As much as I love photography, when my time on earth comes to an end I don’t want to be known as being a good photographer, I want to be known for being a good MOM to two of the most amazing little boys I could have ever asked for.

Thank you to my friends who believed in me over the past 4 years and a very special thank you to Chris and my friends that were here for me over the last couple of weeks when I was making this very hard decision.   Also, a very special thank you to all of my amazing clients for your business and support!!   What an amazing and rewarding ride it has been!

Love Always,  Kristin